We are all searching for Neverland…A review on MJ's life

I have been thinking about writing this for weeks now, especially after I heard about the documentary “Leaving Neverland”. I didn’t watch it, I can’t say I didn’t watch it because I was disgusted by it, not all, I like to see what evil is capable of. I just didn’t have access to it, I couldn’t find where to watch it but I was able to catch a glimpse of their lies through a few videos on YouTube.

First of all, I am not impartial, I am a big Michael Jackson’s fan, so everything I say won’t come from an objective place but exactly from my heart. I fell in love with MJ when I was younger, my mom used to be obsessed about him and my mother is the kind of person who is never obsessed about anything, she doesn’t like chocolate, music, hobbies or anything like that. I inherited her love for MJ but I am pretty sure even if she didn’t like him, I would end up liking him anyway, his force on this earth was undeniable.

Michael was born into music, when he was young he joined his brothers in a musical group called “Jackson 5”. It was obvious from the beginning that he had many talents, from singing to dancing. Due to his busy schedule, touring, jumping from one city to another, Michael didn’t have a normal childhood, he wasn’t able to attend an ordinary school or have friends. I think everyone knows about this but still I need to remind you so you can finally understand him.

Michael’s dad was very strict and physically abusive, and imagine being a child not able to embrace being a real child and having to deal with someone that didn’t know how to take care of a child LOL. Growing up in that environment made Michael not capable of hurting another child, that was the kind of person he was. Some people’s traumas are a catalyst to spread more hurt but not Michael, he was genuinely a good person.

When Michael was finally an adult, he was approached to start a single career and for him this was a chance to run away from his dad. I think that’s when things started going left, Michael’s dad was a typical black father but he wasn’t a bad person and he had Michael’s best interest at heart. Michael’s career was managed by people who manipulated, used him and had a hidden agenda.

He was able to do whatever he wanted now, he didn’t have to rely on his brothers or father. He had a group of people that pretended to listen to him and follow his ideas. Michael was a genius, his brilliants ideas turned out to be a success and the world started loving him. However, when all the eyes are on you, they critically observe everything about you. Michael felt self-conscious about his looks. Growing up his dad constantly told him how ugly he was and he believed him. And being in the spotlight, being surrounded by beautiful people and being black didn’t help. Black was something new on Hollywood and people were not used to our strong features, hair and so on.

I watched “Man in the mirror” documentary two weeks ago and before I had no clue how he started his surgeries. Apparently, on one of his concerts something went wrong and his hair was on fire, burning his scalp. After the incident he started taking pills for the pain which resulted in his addiction to meds; and he had to undergo through a surgery which started the path of no return. After that, he did surgery after surgery to become closer to what was considered beautiful in Hollywood.

Michael changed his nose, the texture of his hair and everything he didn’t like about himself. Also, bear in mind that Michael was attracted to white women, people have different tastes, and sometimes they are filtered by races. You know sometimes the universe plays tricks on us, it was extremely hard to believe that this man who dated white women, worked with white people, had white children, didn’t want to be white. Everything was telling us that this man wanted to be white…but he didn’t.

Michael suffered from Vitiligo, it was so unfortunate but at the same time so convenient for the people who hated him. I once had a conversation with a friend and he told me that his condition was not enough reason for him to turn himself completely white, he could walk around with the white spots. Yes, he could but this man had very low self-esteem, he grew up being called ugly, he was a performer, he had to be in a stage for hours and every censorious eyes judging looking at him. So he did what he had to do. There are so many interviews featuring his makeup artist explaining what he went through but still people refuse to believe him. I know how it feels to be judged, accused of something and having all the evidence blaming you…you feel powerless.

Michael, wherever you are, I believe you! I don’t want to blame this on white people, I once thought that they couldn’t stand a black person having that kind of gift and clout but it wasn’t the privileged race who did this to him, it was all of us. We live in a world that it’s difficult to believe in good intentions. Therefore, it was easier to accept that this man wanted to be white because he despised his own race.

The top on cherry was ‘a wannabe white men who loved to sleep with white kids’. I am ashamed! I am angry! It’s like they used every good thing about this man to make him a monster. Michael loved to spend time with kids because he didn’t have that growing up. He liked to spoil kids that’s why he created ‘Neverland’. Michael was Peter Pan in flesh…Michael’s first molestation accuser was later found to be lying but the damage was already done. The thing about bad reputation is that it never dies, no matter what you do. These people ruined his life and they never said sorry.

It didn’t end there…it spiralled! It became a thing, everyone could just come and accuse him of shameless acts. The second time it happened, it was a kid featured on his interview with Bashir. The kid had cancer and Michael invited him and his family to stay at Neverland. If you are going to rape someone, don’t you want to rape a healthy child? I am sorry, but this is just rubbish! Michael cared for this child and they betrayed him. Once again Michael was proved to be innocent and the kid later came forward and told the truth.

 I remember watching a news revealing that the kid got married, Michael never got married. And this was another reason for people to go around and call him a paedophile and things like that. Michael liked women but he couldn’t trust them, he was surrounded by people who wanted his money and what kind of woman would want to be with an infamous paedophile?

One of the things I hate the most it’s how media treated him, calling him “Wacko Jacko”, wow! Imagine waking up, reading the newspaper and seeing yourself being called that. Whenever I watch his interviews, either with Oprah, Diane Sawyer or the stupid Bashir, I feel like throwing up, the way they treated him, like he was bizarre. They looked at him like he was a clown or something, clearly making fun of his looks. It’s so sad that this man did everything to be considered beautiful inside and out and that’s how the world choose to portray him.

Can we talk about Oprah? I am actually scared to talk about Oprah, it's like talking about God. I remember an interview where she asked Michael if he was a virgin, looking at him like he couldn’t turn a woman on. Michael was definitely a ladies’ man, don’t get it twisted. Apart from that, shame on her for interviewing Michael’s mother and kids after his death, showing support and then turning her back like that. Sometimes I feel like she wants to be the only black legacy. Anyways, I hope she knows what she is doing by offering those psychopaths a stage.

Let’s talk about why I decided to write this - “Leaving Neverland”. I suck at reading people, that’s why I always find myself in unfortunate situations but I don’t need to be wise or a guru to know that these imposters were lying. I was told that the documentary has been nominated for an Emmy, emmy’s are usually given to good actors, therefore we can all agree that these people are lying. There’s a compilation on YouTube showing how many times Wade Robson said that nothing happened between him and Michael. All of the sudden, Michael molested him, really? In the documentary, he said that he only realised he was molested when he saw someone’s interview describing a molestation, so back in the day when those kids accused Michael, he didn’t know? Wade read books about paedophiles and traumatized victims, however, all that preparation didn’t convince me. Wade’s body language completely tells he is lying, and they even brought his mother to make it more believable, whereas it just shows what kind of people they are. Sometimes you look at people and wonder why they are like that and then you get to know their parents and you understand.

They want money, just like everyone person that surrounded Michael all these years. And after going through lawsuits after lawsuits, he was left with nothing. I watched “Searching for Neverland” movie based on his last two years alive and it showcased his financial situation and how his bodyguards cared for him. It’s funny how can you be loved by so many people, but that 1% of hate can destroy you. The bodyguards loved Michael so much that they worked for free for months. Michael was broke and the only way to make some money was going back on stage. Nonetheless, he didn’t want to because he was tired and apparently Michael was shy. He even said “I am not this little kid anymore…”. The King of Pop was already a fifty-something old man and he just wanted to retire.

Michael was the best thing God ever created…he was creative, visionary, strong, humble, giving, generous, you name it… On the other hand, Quincy Jones once said Michael was ‘greedy’, Lisa Marie called him ‘childish’ and Bashir claimed that Michael loved ‘attention’. So what? One thing I learned in this life is that every gift comes with vanity and narcissism and it’s okay. I am pretty sure he had other flaws but it doesn’t change the impact he had in this world, all the good he did, all the hospitals he helped, all the charities he donated to and all the nations he was able to touch. Michael was allowed to have weaknesses… but he wasn’t a paedophile neither wanted to be white.

One of the things on my bucket list was – meeting Michael Jackson. It’s unfortunate that I am not able to do that but I got know him through his music, movies, interviews (especially Brandi and Janet's interviews) and his children. I know that Michael loved eccentric things; he was a shopaholic and he liked hand-made goods; he liked candy; he was smart, he loved to read; he was resilient (he mentioned it himself on the interview with Diane Sawyer); and he constantly taught his kids how to be polite. His children are three different and perfect versions of Michael, Paris is that talented and feisty version of Michael; Prince is the smart and easygoing version; and Blanket is definitely the weird and the special side of him.

I am not done…sometimes I ask myself if that is the price to be blessed and gifted? All that hurt and unfairness. The only thing that makes me hopeful in this life is that MJ didn’t kill himself, he didn’t let the evilness of this world win. Media killed him! Not that doctor, not any addiction, not vitiligo! Media definitely should take the blame on this one. And even after murdering this precious soul they don’t let him rest. I cry every time I watch Jermaine’s interview saying “Let my brother rest…” and every interview that his family does it in support of him against these new allegations.

I don’t remember who exactly but someone was asked to talk about his funeral and the person said “where were all these people?” referring to the people whom gave eulogies. When Michael needed them the most they turned their backs on him, they believed in the press which was determined to make him a punching bag and every ungrateful person who worked with him. At some point, I almost believed these people and I thought he did it but I realised that’s what they want, to damage his legacy.

As I sit here, I am listening to Michael’s song ‘They don’t really care about us” and I get it. I finally get it. I am sorry Michael, I am sorry for everything…but thanks for everything, for being this great human being, for being an inspiration to millions, for giving me hope, for transferring your resilience through your music, for helping me in my darkest moments. I have come to understand that we are all searching for a place to feel like kids again, to enjoy life, to be loved, praised and respected…a place where no one can judge us. We are all searching for Neverland…