Our usual waking up and planned days have been replaced by unhealthy thoughts. During the quarantine, every morning feels like a wake up call for us to do some changes in our lives. Not the usual partial changes, the ones that you tell yourself ‘I am going to change that particular part of myself because this person complained’ or ‘I am going to change in relationships’ and so on. I realized that if one wants to really change, they need to format their whole self, or those toxic traits will still be there and will arise in the most painful ways.
I joined a group of women doing a 21day Abundance challenge, where we invite others to take part on a meditation and self-development journey. The challenge helps to release blockages that may be stopping us from reaching full abundance. Every day we receive a spiritual phrase and we need to take fifteen minutes of our time to meditate. Every phrase had a message, a message that I humbly ask people to take in, not the usual motivational quotes that we save on our phones but never applied in real life.
During the challenge, I realized that humans tend to run away from ourselves, and we rather blame everyone else around us. Through sitting for minutes talking to myself, I concluded that depression is a form of accountability. Our minds torture us to face our wrong deeds with the hopes to be better.
I also realized that even if we achieve that level of discernment, we still need to be mentally prepared to deal with people recounting every little thing we did. People become our ‘mornings’, spreading the usual, expectable and demeaning statements. But remember that your healing is not a precondition for the whole world to change. When you are healing, remember that not everyone is on the same path, sometimes the others’ disease might be longer than yours and it might affect yours.
Meditation brought me discernment of a lot of things…It felt like the world outside didn’t make sense anymore, like I had everything I needed inside of me. You know when you are writing an exam and you stop everything, and concentrate inside of you to find all the answers. I found them.
The spiritual routine forced me to assess every episode that I was maltreated. I kept thinking about the same things over and over again, like I was playing a game and I kept losing. So I kept going back to find other tactics to win. As I breathed in and out, it slowly kicked in that whatever maltreatment I received from someone was a reflection of how I was treating someone else.
I want to say that whenever
you are being judged and punished over something you didn’t do and you think
that life is not fair - life is extremely fair! Fairness doesn’t go
according to your needs. Being misjudged makes you think about all the times
you judged someone without knowing just because you heard something.
Every day of the
challenge, I learned something new. It felt like I was new to life, I was
astounded by discoveries that the meditation exercises brought me. The biggest pleasure from this spiritual journey was interacting with
other women and together fighting for the so wanted ‘peace of mind’.
I want to kindly
suggest you to write, it might be a list of people you should forgive or a
piece recounting all your traumas. Whatever you choose to write, even though,
it might not be close to a vaccine for depression, it will help you survive it.
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